Etiquette from the Bible
Etiqueta de la Biblia
By
Mary Hunt Webb
Posted Sunday, June 30, 2019
Modern advice on etiquette is far different from what the Apostle Paul offered to Christians in his letters. [Photographer: Terri Crudde. Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com.]
When I turned 12 years old, my mother ordered for me a slender book on etiquette. Since it was written for older teenagers headed toward young adulthood, it was a little advanced for me at the time, but I understood that Mother was acknowledging that I was growing up. She wanted to prepare me for the future. I kept that little book for a very long time.
In the years since, I have begun to recognize that the Bible includes many recommendations about how Christians should conduct themselves. We might call it "Etiquette for Christians".
"Etiquette" is defined by Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary as "the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life." I think we can regard the Bible as such an authority.
Etiquette forms the guidelines by which one talks, walks, and behaves as a cultured individual in society. It takes us from having a "me-first" attitude as children to being adults that are considerate of others. Although secular etiquette aims to win the approval of others while putting them at ease, Christian etiquette intends to direct the attention of others toward God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
Jesus had a lot to say about how we should behave. The most basic is "The Golden Rule". In Matthew 7:12, Jesus advised us, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (NIV) That means that if we want to be treated with kindness, respect, and honesty, then we must extend that to others.
One of those ways is to forgive others, and Jesus embedded that advice in the Lord's Prayer. Matthew 6:12 says, "And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us." (NLT)
When we ask God to forgive us as we forgive others, then we must put forgiveness into actual practice. That's because forgiveness is not for the person that committed the error; it's for the one that carries the burden of hurt even when the offender does not know about the wound he caused.
The Apostle Paul also had much to say about proper behavior for Christians in his letters. However, the ones that he wrote to the congregations are most noted for guidelines on how to behave. In his letters to the Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, and Colossians, Paul laid the early foundation that secular etiquette books have built on.
Paul's concern for Christians shows in his many letters. [Photographer: Samuel Francis Johanns. Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com.]
In Philippians 2:3-4 Paul advised: "3) Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. 4) - not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others." (NIV)
That's the foundation for etiquette. We are to consider others and think about ways to make them feel comfortable in our presence.
One way to do this is to measure our speech. Paul addressed this in Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building up others, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (NIV) Paul encouraged believers to think before speaking and to only use words that lift up others. Even today, that is still one of the hardest lessons to apply. I think it's a lifelong lesson for everybody.
So why do we keep doing things that we don't want to do?
In Ephesians 6:12, Paul explains when he says: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (NIV)
It's a continuous struggle to watch what we say and to be aware of the needs of others. Those are part of the basic foundation for proper etiquette. One doesn't need to be wealthy or from a particular social class to practice behavior that takes into account the feelings and needs of others. I am still working on it. How about you?
BIBLE VERSES FOR THIS POSTING
Matthew 7:12 — So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (NIV)
Mateo 7:12 — Así que, todas las cosas que queráis que los hombres hagan con vosotros, asà también haced vosotros con ellos; porque esto es la ley y los profetas. (RVR 1960)
Matthew 6:12 — And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. (NLT)
Mateo 6:12 — Y perdónanos nuestras deudas, como también nosotros perdonamos a nuestros deudores. (RVR 1960)
Philippians 2:3-4 — 3) Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves - 4) not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. (NIV)
Filipenses 2:3-4 — 3) Nada hagáis por contienda o por vanagloria; antes bien con humildad, estimando cada uno a los demás como superiores a él mismo, 4) no mirando cada uno por lo suyo propio, sino cada cual también por lo de los otros. (RVR 1960)
Ephesians 4:29 — Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building up others, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)
Efesios 4:29 — Ninguna palabra corrompida salga de vuestra boca, sino la que sea buena para la necesaria edificación, a fin de dar gracia a los oyentes. (RVR 1960)
Ephesians 6:12 — For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (NIV)
Efesios 6:12 — Porque no tenemos lucha contra sangre y carne, sino contra principados, contra potestades, contra los gobernadores de las tinieblas de este siglo, contra huestes espirituales de maldad en las regiones celestes. (RVR 1960)
Biblical guidelines ease our confusion when we face dilemmas. [Photographer: Steve Buissinnes. Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com.]
