WORDS OF FRIENDSHIP
Palabras de Amistad
by
Mary Hunt Webb
Posted Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Even cats sometimes give a friendly response when spoken to. [Photographer: Cheryl Recca. Photo courtesy of Stockvault.net.]
I greeted a friend recently and asked, "How are you?"
My friend responded with a short answer: "Fine."
With a desire to express an interest in how things were going for him, I asked, "What's going on?"
"Nothing."
I tried once more and asked, "How was your day?"
"Fine."
This was hard work! Did he realize he was shutting down a relationship? I don't think so. Most people don't, and then, later, they wonder why they feel lonely. Friendships require participation of more than one person. Communication is vital to every relationship. All the people involved must talk to one another. When only one person makes an effort, the apparent message from the second person seems to be, "Go away. I don't want you in my life." With continued short responses, that is likely what will happen. However, the second person may not realize that is what he is doing and may then wonder why he doesn't have many friends!
Why does this happen? Sometimes a person has received so many wounds from others that he is fearful that anything he says may be used against him.
While it is often said that actions speak louder than words, actions cannot fully substitute for words. While some people may refrain from speaking because they feel that the use of too many words is dangerous, the use of too few words is equally perilous. It's the same difference between eating too much and not eating enough, which can lead to starvation. A healthy balance is essential in both conversation and eating. The right amount of words can be comforting in the same way that the proper amount of food is nourishing. The Bible expresses it this way in 1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing." (New King James Version) In order to do so, we must employ words. While the touch of a hand or the demonstration of love can be comforting, actions alone are not sufficient but need the support of words for communication to be complete.
To accomplish this, we must overcome our fear of saying the wrong thing and remember that 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that fear does not come from God. That verse says, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (King James Version)
When we make the effort to overcome our own fears and respond to others in conversation, we can comfort them. Kind words are the basis of friendship. For assurance that we can do so, we have only to claim the Bible verse that says, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." (Proverbs 25:11, New King James Version)
BIBLE VERSES FOR THIS POSTING
1 Thessalonians 5:11: — Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing. (New King James Version)
1 Tesalonicenses 5:11 — Por lo cual, animaos unos a otros, y edificaos unos a otros, así como lo hacéis. (Reina-Valera 1960)
2 Timothy 1:7 — For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (King James Version)
2 Timoteo 1:7 — Porque no nos ha dado Dios espíritu de cobardía, sino de poder, de amor y de dominio propio. (Reina-Valera 1960)
Proverbs 25:11 — A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. (New King James Version)
Proverbios 25:11 — Manzana de oro con figuras de plata Es la palabra dicha como conviene. (Reina-Valera 1960)
While the touch of a hand can be comforting, such an action needs the support of words for communication to be complete. [Photographer: Tessa Macken. Photo courtesy of Stockvault.net.]
